Well well well... I'm back again. No fun stories from Drunk Bowling unfortunately. Although in the time that I've been gone, I've made a number of different observations. Some of them I will share now, others are a different story for a different time. I'd like to start out with a little commentary on Kobe Bryant. What a dumbass. Filthy rich, one of the best ballers out there, sick hot wife, and now he's up for rape. Whether he did it or not, he put himself in the situation by throwing down with the concierge at his hotel who happened to be 19 y/o. Granted, he probably thought nothing of it, but damn Kobe, think for a second. He just cost himself millions over some 19 year old head-case of a broad. Well done Kobe, well done.

Kids, if you aren't watching NASCAR every weekend, I suggest you do. If you have any questions about it, I'm free to answer them. Watching NASCAR has always been one of my favorite things to do on a Sunday morning, but it keeps getting better. Man, two kids, 24 & 25 years old (I make it sound like I'm old but I'm the same age as them) battling it out at the end of a race puts a hop in my step every time. Even though my man Smoke can't catch a break, it becoming the most exciting sport out there. If you're not watching now, you will be in 3 years, trust me. Get on while there's still a few seats left on the bandwagon.

Football season is almost here which means it is almost time for my very first season preview. Just wait. It'll be great (said with a Scottish accent).

I'm going to leave you for today but I swear I'm coming back by the end of the week to give you my latest TV & movie reviews.

Raising my glass today to Ryan Newman for winning at Pocono.

Drinking Game of the Week - TV Show Meet My Folks:

This one can get you drunk real quick. Here's how it works.

Every time someone says a dirty fact revealed about them isn't true - 1 drink

Every time the son/daughter being pursued makes out with one of the pursuers - 2 drinks

Every time the doorbell rings or the fax machine goes off - 1 shot

Every time the mom/dad gives someone a dirty look - 1 drink

Every time a cast member cries - Pound a beer

If you've ever watched the show, you know. It could get ugly.

On that note... I'm out!!
- posted by Andy @ 11:14 AM

 
Alright kids... after an extended leave of absence, I'm back. I know I said that I would give a play by play of my 4th of July weekend, but that fell through. See there's a little thing called recovery time and the fact that I don't remember much of it. I do remember drinking a lot, getting mildly sunburnt, eating really bad food and I think there was a Frank the Tank sighting. Last weekend was more of the same. I don't really have any gems of wisdom this week, but I just thought I'd write in and make sure all three readers didn't think I died or anything. I'm still here. We're off to do a little Drunk Bowling this evening for a friend's birthday. It should be fun. There's nothing quite like Drunk Bowling. Hopefully I'll have some stories to share from that.

So on that note, I'll raise a beer tonight to my friend's birthday.

Drinking Game for the Week - Horseshoes:

This one is an easy one kids.

You can play with teams, 4 people all against each other, whatever. It doesn't matter.

Each person gets to throw a shoe. The point value from horseshoes still applies.

1 pt - Within a shoe's length of the stake
2 pts - Leaning against the stake
3 pts - Horseshoe lands with the stake in the middle of it, a Ringer

Instead of points though, the thrower assigns that number of drinks.

Each person throws and, if possible, you have the option to knock out someone's previous throw. That way they can't give drinks!!!

You can still keep track of points if you want, and have the last person to get to 21 pound a whole beer.

Happy throwing and thanks for coming from the Raging Idiot!!


- posted by Andy @ 1:00 PM

 
The Raging Idiot is going to bless you with some random thoughts today...


Anyone who gets drunk and then forms their sentences like Yoda is good to have around. Trust me.

Any conversation that includes a Burt Reynolds reference of any kind is my favorite conversation of the today.

If I have a conversation with someone who talks like Yoda and it includes a Burt Reynolds reference, I'm flying to Vegas, becuase Lady Luck just gave me a lap dance.

Drinking Game for Monday:
Watch 'For Love or Money'
Every time the 'star', Rob, says "You look good/nice/pretty" or "I like your dress" take a shot.
Every time one of the girls mentions the phraise 'Fairy Tale', take a shot.
Every time Paige screams or cries, pound a beer.
You'll be drunk in no time.

Speaking of the show 'For Love or Money', the only reason it's entertaining at all is Rob. He has the intelligence of a garden snail and almost always sounds like he's still in 7th grade. Check it out. Comedy like you've never seen.

You heard it here first, Claudia DiFolco, SuperVixen. Remember where you heard it first. Right here.

It's definitely not appropriate to sing the Bloodhound Gang song, 'A Lap Dance is so Much Better When the Stripper is Crying', in a strip club.

Robby Gordon is the dumbest and most arrogant driver in NASCAR and Kevin Harvick is the hockey goon of NASCAR. Bad move Robby.

I've got July 28th in the office pool for when resident tumor Carl Everett and one or more of the drunk White Sox fans get in a brawl on the field.

The drunk White Sox fan/s will get enough punishment without jail time.

It's amazing that the Diamondbacks won 12 games in a row and it didn't mean a damn thing. Baseball.

I don't think there's a bigger ego boost than getting hit on in a bar, directly in front of your girlfriend.

Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears are only one bad record away from Playboy or worse. Can we start an Internet petition?

Is there any bigger mystery in life than where porn stars come from? If I was a cable network executive, I would start a reality show to try to find this out. It would be a ratings bonanza.


That's all the Idiot has for today. Make sure to check here next week for the play-by-play from my 4th of July weekend.

I'll raise a beer to the stars & stripes.


- posted by Andy @ 4:47 PM